tenthtimeisthecharm | (no subject)

(no subject)

There is a brief pause filled with audible clicks and thuds, followed by the slightly echoey acoustics that come from someone recording audio in a large room. "Hello hello! You've reached Dr. Velocity! Feel free to leave a message or a video or whatever here, and I'll do my very best to respond promptly! And if it this is about the stickers, Ratchet, I didn't do it! Love and love and love!"

text | voice | video | action

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Velocity flinched the second Nickel crossed her arms, then again when she closed the door and said that.

Velocity's lower lip trembled. She wanted so badly to just burst out with the truth, but when she opened her mouth all that came out at first was, "It's- I-" She fumbled for words, and each second she couldn't find them made that mixture of dread and fear and guilt pile up until she felt like it was going to throttle her vents, until her systems overheated and kept right on doing so. But she felt cold. So cold.

She took a step back from Nickel. "I'm sorry," she said. Her hand that held the comm unit dropped back down to her side. "It's- it's not fine. And that wasn't nice. I'm sorry, I-" There went her shoulders inching up again, and this time she couldn't make them stop. "Its not. I know. But it's not something I can talk about, either." Not to Nickel, who was so smart and confident and pretty and good at everything, and who had probably never failed and kept failing over and over again, until it finally boiled over.

Would there ever be any coming back from this last one? She wasn't sure.

She offered Nickel a wobbly smile, and she lied. Again. "I'll be okay."

"Velocity..." Nickel sighs, face pinching in worry. The young medic has done nothing to assuage her concerns. If anything they're only rising. Like a pressurized gauge.

"Being in my frame hasn't made you any better at lying you know," she finally says with a sad smile. It... it hurts that Velocity isn't being honest here. It hurts even more because whatever she's hiding is clearly hurting her.

She's an adult, Nickel can't force her to tell her what's wrong...

"Look, there's nothing you can't share with me, okay Velocity? I know I yell at a lot of people who frag things up, but it's because I worry," she might yell a lot and call people idiots... but they're HER idiots, "You don't have to tell me anything, just promise me you won't lie to me and say you're okay when you're not."

Velocity almost blurted out everything all over again, before she physically drew back again. She couldn't. It was bad enough she'd told Megatron, and he'd been there, but... but maybe it would be best if Nickel knew at least something?

Velocity shuffled unhappily and looked away, her face twisted through an expression of the deepest shame. "...I promised something," she said eventually. "And it's not the sort of promise I can break, or at least I don't know of any way I can do that right now. From what I've been able to tell, this-"

She bit her glossa mid word, abruptly changing her mind. Coward, she told herself bitterly. She was always a coward.

"...I'm not okay," she said with a wobbly attempt at a smile. "That's why I wanted to go on sabbatical again, but being on my own just made me think of it and how I messed up again, and-" She gave hitched little laugh.

"And I'll handle it. That's not lying. I'll figure it out. I fix my messes."

Nickel is silent for a moment. It's obvious from her expression that she's not completely satisfied with her answer. But it's also clear how much effort it took for her to just let Nickel know THAT much.

Oh Lottie... what have you gotten yourself into?

"I'll trust you to clean that mess up then. But if you need me, Lottie please I'm terribly good with a broom. And a sniper rifle," she smiles. And she means it. She's always been fierce about the folk she cares about. She's lost too many of them.

"Oh and one more thing. Velocity I want you to look at me. Look at you," Nickel draws herself up to her full height. To Velocity's full height. Standing tall, shoulders squared, expression of determination, of devotion to her friends on her face, "This is your frame. This is your face. You're capable of standing like this, of looking someone down like this. I know you are."

Velocity nodded automatically even as she pulled back another step back. Nickel was just trying to be nice, but hearing it now only served to make that shame bubbling up in her chest feel even worse.

Then Nickel said that, and Velocity's optics went wide and bright as she looked back at her. She started to say something, but it caught in her throat and took several tries before she finally managed to get out a soft, "You really think so? What if-" She took that good look, and something inside her twisted. "Maybe you'll leave behind something of you when we switch back, that I could?"

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